UPDATE:

May 21, 2010 at 1:58 pm | Posted in adoption issues, adoption resources | 1 Comment

CBN has, thankfully, removed the troublesome commentary by Pat Robertson that came at the end of the news segment.   Part of me is so happy.   Part of me is still very sad for the reality of what was said.

Mostly, it’s a relief.

Hardings are truly grateful to get to be a door keeper in the house of God, especially when it comes to vindicating the Fatherless!   So when someone treads on adoption or uses a big ugly brush to paint orphans with, I get all ‘mother-bear’ and hot headed passionate and start emailing everyone.  I obsess and stew dive in full force and get in my defense-attorney mode.

Not a pretty sight ~  I promise.

The Christian Alliance for Orphans does such a calm, reasoned, and winsome job of offering a Biblical perspective on adoption.   In the wake of the Robertson comments they wrote a piece that further explains five core truths about adoption that need to be better understood and communicated.   Check it out!

Also, Dan Cruver added the CBN interview ‎ at the Together For Adoption ‎ site.

Ahhhh….. I can now remove my blood pressure cuff and get back to the business of making chicken noodle soup for lunch and breaking up the battle over who gets to play with the red matchbox car. ‎

certainly not what I expected…

May 20, 2010 at 8:51 pm | Posted in adoption issues, adoption resources | Leave a comment

The CBN interview that we got to be a part of a few weeks ago aired today.

The reporter and her crew did such a fantastic job on the story and Tague and I are very excited about the message that was sent through her dedicated work.

However……

After the video piece was over, Pat Robertson added his own (almost four-minute) commentary.    At no time was he an advocate for the orphan nor did he give a rally cry to the church to step up to the plate to care for orphans or vulnerable children in any way.   We are profoundly disappointed in the way he used his influence and are grieved over  his counsel to potentially adoptive families.     Thankfully, his co-host Terry, spoke patiently and graciously to correct and exhort through the troubled commentary.

Praise God that His purposes will stand.   He will set the lonely in families.   He will continue to call AND equip families to embrace children that they did not conceive.  Praise God that He prepares some families to love and raise kids who struggle to adapt to their history.   Praise God that He knows every detail on the planet and one negative review doesn’t slow Him down as He works on the behalf of His children!

Watch it for yourself……What do you think?

CBN interview

The Christian Alliance for Orphans (who hosted the conference) made a very well thought out  response.    They clearly reflect our hearts and do it in a winsome way.

post Summit

May 2, 2010 at 8:36 am | Posted in adoption process, adoption resources, secure relationships, Uncategorized | 1 Comment

We had such an amazing time at the Summit VI conference this week.

The CBN report at our house was a lot of fun and the crew was super to work with!   We managed to have a fun, family morning complete with giggles and tears and a barking dog and boiling tea and steaming muffins.   🙂  We’ll let you know when it airs.

This conference was the first official adoption event that we’ve done since we brought our sons home and I knew it would be good, but I didn’t expect to feel so very encouraged.

Most helpful to me was Dr. Karyn Purvis .   She is wise and serene and practical and encouraging…. just the package I needed to press me forward in my mothering.

Adoption is a hard journey. No one becomes and orphan through an easy, happy story.   And joining a new family is a gigantic transition both for the child and for the existing family.  So to hear the wisdom and the counsel and the soothing encouragement from the speakers and other parents has been a ‘binding up’ of the soul for me.

Also, knowing that adopting Philip and Zach isn’t the period at the end of the sentence as it relates to our family’s involvement in orphan care…. the question now is:   What next?    🙂

A great opportunity (served with a side of panic!)

April 27, 2010 at 11:55 pm | Posted in adoption resources, family, Prayer | 1 Comment

The Harding family is going to experience a first this Thursday morning.

Through a friend’s recommendation, we’re being interviewed by Charlene Israel of CBN (the Christian Broadcasting Network) as part of their coverage of this week’s Christian Alliance for Orphan’s Summit VI in the Minneapolis area.

Yes, I’m excited and a little freaked out.   Actually, kind-of a lot freaked out.

The film crew arrives early Thursday morning and will catch us in action as we get ready for our day.    Microphones will be attached and cameras will be rolling as we scurry and eat and get along with each other beautifully just like we always do.   (ahem)

They said, “Just be yourselves.”   So…. for the last few days we’ve been plotting how we’ll  ‘just be ourselves’.   It’s not as easy as you might think.

Anyway – we’ll keep you posted.   I have no idea what to expect but we are really pumped about having an opportunity to tell a little bit of our family’s story and, more importantly, to talk about one of our favorite topics ~ adoption!

Pray for us…. would ya?

Connecting

September 9, 2009 at 7:25 am | Posted in adoption issues, adoption resources, secure relationships | 2 Comments

I’m reading the book The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis …… again.  It was recommended to us about a year ago but when I read it the first time, we hadn’t yet brought our boys home.   It was all theory.   Now I’m reading it with open eyes and almost a year of experience.

There have been lots of hurdles in our adoption ~ most of them paper hurdles and most of them chronicled here.   But the hurdle of forming a deep connection with a child may prove to be the biggest one.

The whole thing is a little like entering into an arranged marriage.   Neither partner knows the other person and it takes a while…. sometimes a long while….. to form trust and to relax into each other’s life and into each other’s arms.

Except in an adoption, one party (the parent) completely knows what’s happening in advance and pours themselves into it in every way.  The nursery is painted and clothes are bought.   The parent has pictures and makes plans and takes trips and writes a blog and enlists prayers and holds fundraisers to flesh out the calling God has initiated in their hearts.    The other party (the child) has no idea what’s happening in his life and so makes no emotional preparations or celebrations and has no anticipations of what is to come for him.   He is just trying to adapt to his ever-changing world as an orphan.    He’s just playing ‘dodge-ball’ with life and trying to NOT get hit.   So, if anything, when the big day arrives – as the parent rejoices and celebrates the culmination of a long process, the child sometimes cowers and trembles at what seems to him to be in instantaneous (and maybe unreliable?)  change in his reality.

But that’s autobiographical enough for now.

I’ve wondered whether I should write about this topic here at all.    Maybe it’s too much candor and exposure.  Honestly – I don’t hear it being talked about by my other adoptive-mom friends.    (But, then again, it’s not really facebook status material, is it?)    Maybe it’s too much candor for my son, who’s journey and story I intend to protect.

BUT, since it’s not an indictment and since I don’t have any particular pretense to try to uphold, this is my latest reading material…. again.   If I have the courage, I’ll continue to write about it.

a return to the classics

January 27, 2009 at 3:28 pm | Posted in adoption resources | 2 Comments
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There are countless benefits to having little children……… again.     One of the unexpected ones is that I get to enjoy ‘little kid music’ all over again.    How many thousands of times did we listen to the Sandy Patti’s “Friendship Company” cassette in our Dodge caravan on the way to the soccer game while the kids were strapped in licking Dairy Queen??

While I do love that collection, the oldie that I’m enjoying most recently is Steve Green’s ‘Hide’em in Your Heart’.     I had forgotten how simple the tunes are and that they are a great way to get scripture into young minds (and older ones too).

Lord knows, I need to hear ‘Do to others as you would have them do to you’ and ‘Keep your tongue from evil’   these days!   Philip and Zachary spend a little bit of time each day listening to this disc during their ‘room time’ while I walk on the treadmill.      I highly recommend it if you want to get back to basics and travel down Memory Lane all at the same time.     This particular version includes the cd and the dvd of the original production.   (Warning for the dvd:  Contains pure 1990’s fashions.  Luckily, your kids are too young to realized that you actually dressed like that back then.)

Book Review

January 11, 2009 at 6:41 pm | Posted in adoption resources | Leave a comment
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Getting ready to bring a new child into your life is a gigantic process.  And we’ve needed all the help we can get.    A good friend recommended “The Connected Child” by Karyn Purvis and we’ve found it especially helpful.   Since it covers a broad range of issues related to adoption we will probably re-read it over the years as our children’s needs continue to evolve.      Topics include:  Attachment Skills / Children from other countries and cultures / Disarming the fear response /  Building bonds of affection / and much more.     It is a good resource for adoptive parents of any child regardless of their child’s age or background.   It offers practical skills and gives hope and we heartily recommend it!

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