what about gotcha day?

November 10, 2009 at 4:17 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

We are fast approaching the anniversary of the day we brought P & Z home.    And with that anniversary comes the question of what to do about it.

Many families celebrate their child’s ‘adoption day’ or ‘gotcha day’ with a special meal or gifts or a family outing.   Some let it double as a cultural celebration as well if their child is from another culture.

I’ve always thought we would do something similar (even though it’s not that easy to find a local Ugandan matoke cart here in the twin cities).     As a matter of fact, while we were in Uganda we bought 13 really cool Ugandan gifts for each boy to give to them on the subsequent 13 ‘gotcha days’ to come.

But now, I’m starting to wonder.    Will we be starting a tradition that makes our sons feel celebrated or makes them feel different?   Will an ‘adoption day’ party set them apart in a good way or a bad way?  Should they be SET APART from the rest of the family?  Not being an adoptee myself, I don’t have any personal experience with this. But it’s rattling around in my head.

I’ve really enjoyed the fabulous insight in this blog written by an adult adoptee. His stories have given me much to think about in the past year and his take on a celebration is very positive.

BUT I’ve also been thinking about the ‘anti-gotcha-day’ perspective in
this blog and find myself seeing good points in both.

So…..other adoptive folks out there (parents or kids)…… what are your thoughts? How did you come to your decision about the anniversary of your child’s homecoming? What do you do? (or don’t do?)

We’ll let you know where we land ~ especially since we have to have a plan in 16 days. To be continued…….

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  1. I just read this..what did you end up doing? I didn’t read the blog links you shared, but I’m sure they are wonderful!!! Our conviction is that it’s all how you share it. If it makes them feel different in a positive, worshipful, God-centered, exciting way, then how can that be negative? If it makes them feel set apart in a way that makes them feel ashamed or diff in a neg way, then, of course, that’s not honoring the Lord or holding the true meaning of adoption.

    We usually celebrate Gotcha Day. The kids love it ; ) They remember all of our Gotcha Days. We usually use that day to just spend w/ the kids, look through old pics of our first days with them, talk about memories of our first days with them, we write special letters to them, thinking through all the Lord has done, and have a Gotcha Day cake.

    This year, I was in Uganda on Samuel and Keziah’s Gotcha Day. So, we didn’t do it. Micah was 2 wks old when we adopted him. So, we haven’t decided what to do there. And Jeremiah’s Gotcha Day is 2 days after Samuel and Keziah’s!! So, we’ll be able to celebrate theirs together! ; ) We might just end up celebrating them all together, on the same weekend, kind of thing : ) And continue with writing letters, looking through pics, and sharing their stories/memories : )

    It’s always been a sweet time!!! I don’t think we have to do it, but I don’t think it’s negative either ; ) It’s special and reflects on the story our God has created for our family!

  2. As a kid I loved that my family celebrated our adoption day. As I got to being a teenager I started to resent the fact that my family celebrated our adoption day – it made me feel different and set-apart. So I asked my Dad to not celebrate it again, he honoured that.
    This year – is the first year on our adoption day that I went to my Dad and thanked him for adopting me!

    He was so touched and so was I!

    I dont know if I will celebrate Nathanial’s adoption day or gotcha day! I think everyday with him is a celebration!

  3. […] tonight, when we were finally ready for pie, we had our Gotcha Day .   A couple weeks ago, I wrote about being in a bit of a dilemma, not knowing whether to do Gotcha Day or not.   Thanks for your input, […]


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