Mutual blessing

July 16, 2009 at 7:49 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Myth: Adoption is a great way to “save” or “rescue” a child.

Reality: Adoption is defined by mutual blessing – both being a blessing and being blessed…..

Adoption IS about rescuing children in part.   But it’s greater than that.

Over the last year people have complimented us ~ saying something like, “That’s such a great thing you guys did!”  or “Wow… to think what you’ve done for these kids!”

Now, I can take a compliment pretty well.   If someone compliments my pretty red shoes, I’ll probably agree with them.   “I love these shoes too!   Thanks!”   But when I’m complimented on perceived acts of heroics, it’s a lot harder.   And especially in the case of compliments like those above, I find myself groping for a way to respond.

We’ve heard, “Your boys are so lucky!”    And really…. I know where they’re coming from.    But, inside I also know a different truth.    Granted, Philip and Zach’s needs were both profound and obvious.   My need for rescue however, even though it was more discreet, was just as present.

The real truth is ~ all of us in this story have been rescued.

Yes…. my husband and I ‘rescued’ two kids from the status of being orphans.   And we rescued them from some other things too probably.   But it was all in an instant.   They were orphans and then they weren’t.   They were destined for a certain life, and then they became destined for another one.   They were alone in the world and then they had a family.

Their rescue was an event.

My rescue, however, is a process.    Through this adoption, I am continually being rescued from my ever-present inclination to put myself first.    I’m being rescued from my demandingness and my habitual impatience.   I’m being rescued from a tendency to manipulate rather than love and am learning more about unconditional love than I have ever known.  And that rescue will be on going for at LONG time to come.   Maybe people should say to Philip and Zach, “Wow!  Aren’t your parents lucky!?”

Adoption = Mutual Blessing.

Hat tip for the quote at the top goes to:


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  1. Hello
    Wonderful post. I just wrote something similar on my own blog, but it was very cool to see it written from the parents perspective. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Hey Hardings… I know I’ve told Tague this before, but you need to take these posts, edit and bind them, and see about publishing them! The thoughts, emotions, concepts, trials, faith, and love of your whole adoption process are wonderfully communicated in an inspiring way that gives such glory to God!

  3. Hey Lisa. I recently watched (for like the 100th time) Lysa Terkeurst’s video where she was on Oprah. Not sure if you know who that is, but she & several other families in her community adopted something like 75 orphans from Liberia. Anyway, one of the dad’s said something similar to what you are saying here. He was saying how people would tell them how he was such a blessing and his response was “the blessing has been all mine”. It was so touching to hear a father say that about his adopted children. I think you are so right in saying it is a mutual blessing. Good points.

  4. So neat to hear about your mutual blessing. God is so good. Your boys are incredible, and I love seeing pictures of them and the rest of your family.

    Love to you all,

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