Father’s Day

June 20, 2009 at 10:24 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

The following is a portion of an article about fatherhood by Andrew Peach that I read the other day and thought it was a ‘nail on the head’ article!

Fatherhood is a hard, hard job but my husband does it really well!   Whatever his single life used to be – I’m sure it’s completely unrecognizable by now as he’s poured himself out thousands of times for all the other Hardings around him.   He is that faithful solider mentioned below and he does it with strength and integrity and is always the one to bring the laughter!   Thanks, Tague,  for the joy of watching you father for 21 years!

(some shots below of him in action)

Most fathers-to-be suppose that their old ego-centered lives will continue more or less unabated after the child arrives. With the exception of a few more obstacles and demands on their time, their involvement with their children is envisioned as being something manageable and marginal. Nothing like a complete transformation—an abrupt end to their former life—really enters men’s minds.

But then the onslaught begins, and a man begins to realize that these people, his wife and children, are literally and perhaps even intentionally killing his old self. All around him everything is changing, without any signs of ever reverting back to the way they used to be. Into the indefinite future, nearly every hour of his days threatens to be filled with activities that, as a single-person or even a childless husband, he never would have chosen. Due to the continual interruptions of sleep, he is always mildly fatigued; due to long-term financial concerns, he is cautious in spending, forsaking old consumer habits and personal indulgences; he finds his wife equally exhausted and preoccupied with the children; connections with former friends start to slip away; traveling with his children is like traveling third class in Bulgaria, to quote H.L. Mencken; and the changes go on and on. In short, he discovers, in a terrifying realization, what Dostoevsky proclaimed long ago: “[A]ctive love is a harsh and fearful reality compared with love in dreams.” Fatherhood is just not what he bargained for.

Yet, through the exhaustion, financial stress, screaming, and general chaos, there enters in at times, mysteriously and unexpectedly, deep contentment and gratitude. It is not the pleasure or amusement of high school or college but rather the honor and nobility of sacrifice and commitment, like that felt by a soldier. What happens to his children now happens to him; his life, though awhirl with the trivial concerns of children, is more serious than it ever was before. Everything he does, from bringing home a paycheck to painting a bedroom, has a new end and, hence, a greater significance. The joys and sorrows of his children are now his joys and sorrows; the stakes of his life have risen. And if he is faithful to his calling, he might come to find that, against nearly all prior expectations, he never wants to return to the way things used to be.

Tague and the little boys

Tague and the little boys

Tague and all the boys

Tague and all the boys

Looking serious with the crew

Looking serious with some of the crew

helping with the basics

helping with the basics

being the fire-master

being the fire-master

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2 Comments »

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  1. What a beautiful tribute to Tague and all of the godly fathers and husbands out there. Aren’t we blessed with husbands who take their God-given roles so seriously?

  2. Hey Lisa!

    Thanks for the comment on my blog. I’m obviously still working out some kinks…that is why your comment didn’t show up right away . Got that fixed though! Someone on facebook said that she didn’t know if she could adopt someone else’s kid. I thought that was a weird statement. I almost dread telling anyone else. Sad really. My mom is very supportive of it and so our most of our Christian friends. My family is another story. But I cling to the fact that I have people in my life that are supportive and that is a good thing. Plus its God plan, not mine…so who am I to care what others think? Anyway, sounds like you had a busy weekend of waiting. Hope you got home ok. Talk to you soon…oh, I wasn’t at the Thursday class this week, so I’ll probably watch it online and go next week. Ok, off I go!


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