you know what they say about all good things…

February 20, 2009 at 3:41 pm | Posted in family | 1 Comment

Sad to say, our precious tea pot has given up the ghost.   It’s not expensive china and it’s not an heirloom from Grandma.   (It was probably just from TJ Maxx.)   But the reason we’re sad to loose this particular teapot is because it’s become a symbol of our regular tea-time.

Years ago (I don’t even remember why we started this, actually) we began a tradition in this marriage called tea-time.   Simply put, Tague and I have breakfast and linger over a pot of freshly brewed tea every morning that he is in our home.    Since he travels, there are far too many mornings where we can’t start the day together talking through recent events or scheming about the future.    So, to make up for lost time and to purposefully work at staying ‘together’ in a lifestyle that could drift us apart, we lean on tea-time.

Now, we love our kids, but they are not invited.    I remember what it was like training our kids who are now older to play somewhere else or to watch Barney  ‘because mommy and daddy are having tea time’.    It took some determination to preserve those moments for ourselves!

When we started out, we had a tiny little pot that we’d gotten on a beach vacation together.   It only held 2 cups of tea, but that seemed ok at the time.   As  our enjoyment of this tradition (our tolerance for caffeine) grew we graduated to another pot.    The one in the picture above holds almost 8 cups and has served us well over the past 15 years.

Lately we’ve noticed that it’s really hard to accomplish tea-time.    Our laptops sometimes find their way to the table and distract us from even making eye contact.   They’ve become a couple of rude guests and we need to let them know that they’re not invited either.      Philip and Zach play pretty well nearby, but we’d forgotten how many little squished fingers or head bumps or ‘ownership issues’ over matchbox cars can arise in just a short time.   Honestly – we don’t seem to have time for more than that little 2-cup pot anymore!     And I’ve been tempted to pull it out of the china closet and just make do.

But tea-time’s been an anchor in our relationship.   It has the flavor of ‘date night’ and the administrative benefits of a business meeting and a morning devotional all in one.   While we have become tea snobs in a sense (no bourgeois tea bags, thank you!) it isn’t about the tea.  It’s about something steady in an ever changing marriage and family.   It’s about providing a framework where friendship can thrive and trust can be built and laughter can be shared.      Many mornings it’s simply a safe place for sorrow or frustration.

So, something in me thinks that maybe I should just head back to TJ’s in search of a new giant, non-dribbling, secure-lid, stays-hot, perfect pot for those tea-times yet to come.   Even though they say all good things must come to an end,  we’ve decided:  not THIS good thing!

Readers – what do you do to keep you and your spouse connected?


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  1. I love how you write. It’s so simple yet beautiful. And I too have felt our computers/laptops taking over our marriage…it stinks to be quite frank. We have, not recently, but in the past had couch time. Very similar to tea time – no kids allowed. When dad gets home, its 15 minutes (or more if possible) of mom & dad time. Lately I find our talks overshadowed by voices and excitement over the Wii. I really can’t stand it. Good reminders on how to put marriage on the top of the list!

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