Plan “A”

We are fast approaching the anniversary of the day we brought P & Z home.    And with that anniversary comes the question of what to do about it.

Many families celebrate their child’s ‘adoption day’ or ‘gotcha day’ with a special meal or gifts or a family outing.   Some let it double as a cultural celebration as well if their child is from another culture.

I’ve always thought we would do something similar (even though it’s not that easy to find a local Ugandan matoke cart here in the twin cities).     As a matter of fact, while we were in Uganda we bought 13 really cool Ugandan gifts for each boy to give to them on the subsequent 13 ‘gotcha days’ to come.

But now, I’m starting to wonder.    Will we be starting a tradition that makes our sons feel celebrated or makes them feel different?   Will an ‘adoption day’ party set them apart in a good way or a bad way?  Should they be SET APART from the rest of the family?  Not being an adoptee myself, I don’t have any personal experience with this. But it’s rattling around in my head.

I’ve really enjoyed the fabulous insight in this blog written by an adult adoptee. His stories have given me much to think about in the past year and his take on a celebration is very positive.

BUT I’ve also been thinking about the ‘anti-gotcha-day’ perspective in
this blog and find myself seeing good points in both.

So…..other adoptive folks out there (parents or kids)…… what are your thoughts? How did you come to your decision about the anniversary of your child’s homecoming? What do you do? (or don’t do?)

We’ll let you know where we land ~ especially since we have to have a plan in 16 days. To be continued…….

Today was Orphan Sunday.   It’s the first national unified effort in the body of Christ to draw attention to the orphan crisis around the globe as well as to the one in your own city.

Something’s happening….. there’s a movement among the people of God to defend the fatherless.

I know…..The statistics about orphans around the world are overwhelming.   And you’ll never do more than a drop in the proverbial bucket when it comes to solving the problem.

BUT – it only takes one person to make a difference in the life of one child for a lifetime.

Adoption.   Foster care.   Orphan care.

Find a way to be part of the solution.

If you’ve read our story, you know that many people were part of bringing our boys home.   Without the financial support of others, we would NOT have be able to embark on this amazing journey.    Watch this powerful video and see where God might take YOU.

Some firsts are really worth noting:

Yesterday as I was clearing the dishes from the dining room table, Philip ran up to me, hugged my knees and with a great big smile said, “You’re mine!”

That’s right, buddy…. I’m yours!   And you’re mine too!

Philip

As I make my way through “The Connected Child”  (TCC) I’m finding great advice and encouragement on each page.   I’ve been doing this mothering thing for a couple decades now and I’m pretty set in my ways but, these days, any additional input is welcomed!

My two small boys come to the process with a totally different set of design instructions and different operational parameters from their older siblings.    I’m finding that all these differences require that their parenting must also be different.   Boy, do i have a lot to learn.     And it’s not just new tricks of the trade.   It’s about redesigning MY internal specs to retrofit the old mom to the new equipment.   It’s about breaking ME of old habits and old expectations.    It’s about becoming more of an advocate and comfort.  Unexpectedly, it’s also becoming about confession and repentance.

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Here are a few shots from some recent outings.    We’re trying to enjoy the last bits of Minnesota summer before the fall really begins.

at the park

climbing through!

brothers on the swing

serious otter-watching at the zoo

at home with cookies

before going back to college

Surely each of us is thinking about 9/11 today.    It was on the morning news and flags all over town are flying at half-staff to honor those who died in the attacks that day.   I’ve even had to explain it to my daughter who was only three years old at the time and doesn’t remember the event.

Now, eight years later, on September 11th,  violence is happening in another country that I love.    Riots have broken out across the city of Kampala, Uganda due to tribal arguments that seem to have no solution.   There have been deaths and panic and fear are rampant in the city.       Just like panic and fear were among us back in 2001.

I watch the videos and the images coming out of that situation and my breath catches in my lungs knowing that Kampala is the birth city of my sons.    Had they not been orphaned and released for adoption, they too might be smelling the smoke of the riot fires and seeing those black plumes rise over the city.   They might be hearing the pop of gunfire and sense the stress and panic and fear in the voices and faces of the adults around them.

I’ve wrestled with the stories of their origins.   How could any child be dealt such a bad initial hand in life??    I waffle between anger over the circumstances that made them orphans and a deep gratefulness that I’ve been given the chance to be their mom.   Maybe it’s the perpetual paradox that comes as standard equipment with adoption.      Each time I try to wrap my brain around the reality of it all, I come back to the fact that God plucked them out from where they were and set them apart for His glory and for their good.    In spite of their losses, God has rescued them from hunger,  malaria,  a higher risk of HIV/AIDS,  a lack of education, and countless other things.   And today – the scope of God’s rescue has widened in my eyes to include protection from tribal unrest and riots in their streets.

America isn’t Utopia.  And, as we’ve all seen, we too are vulnerable to attack and loss and pain.    But today, my two little guys enjoyed lollipops after their haircuts and having the story of Lightning McQueen read to them, blissfully unaware that a world away there is chaos playing out in the lives of thousands of other children that live in the slums and neighborhoods where they also once lived.

Pray for peace in Uganda.

Today is our last meeting with our social worker to begin the finalization of our adoption.     If you’re thinking, ‘I thought they already did that’, you’re right.   Back in February, even.   But somehow we’ve managed to drag our feet in the legal process and NOW we have to repeat the social worker step since our interview from before has ‘expired’.  (as has my medical exam, so i get to do that again too).

Next we need to file a petition with the court.   Then the court and the adoption agency talk and then we go before a judge.   Simple, right?

Probably.  But the do-it-yourself-lawyer bit seems really daunting so I’ve been in avoidance mode.   I don’t know what kind of immigrant status my boys have.   I don’t know how to answer the judge’s questions.  I don’t know how to fill out the paperwork.     Heck – I don’t even know where to GET the paperwork!   Today, however, we’re going to pull our heads out of the sand and just do it.

AND school starts in a week.   Summer-mode will end and the schedule will begin.   The high school sports events, the tests, the home-schooling, the airplane course my husband starts, and part of me is just ‘bracing for impact’.

Just in time for all of this, there’s a phrase from a song  [Great Is Thy Faithfulness]  that God has stuck in me for a week now.   Sometimes getting a song stuck in your head is just plain annoying.   But this one keeps returning in moments when I’m fretting or lonely or overwhelmed and, thankfully, it seems more stuck in my heart than in my head –  and that’s not so bad.

“Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow….”

That’s all.   Just a few short words that keep encouraging me that whatever is before me today, I’ll have strength for.   And that whatever comes tomorrow, I can have hope about.   Not because I’m particularly talented or patient or winsome or organized (and certainly not punctual with paperwork!),  but because God is faithful.     And His faithfulness is amazing, wondrous, lovely, timely and thorough.   It’s not just good – it’s great.

Beautiful Philip

tough zach